rnilkbreath:

failedtextpost:

rnilkbreath:

analprolapsing:

how in holy fuck do you not like hawaiian pizza i’m seriously gonna call the police

LISTEN UP DICK NERD. THINGS U PUT ON PIZZA INCLUDE: TOMATO, CHEESE, MEAT, SOME VEGGIES (NOT LIKE CARROTS BUT LIKE ONIONS) AND THATS IT. DONT FUCKIN PUT FRUIT ON PIZZA. FUCKIN

brooke tomatoes are fruits

FUCK YOU

westernkanye:

westernkanye:

i’m going to survey and see if it’s true that a guys lips are the same color as the head of their penis

lookslikeazipper:

Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT

I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON

HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF

AM I DREAMING

bobbibloodrose:

if we are cuddling and you play with my hair there is a 9000% chance i will fall in love with you